..there is a nightclub called The Bettie Ford Clinic.
..Tori Amos is played on the radio.

..you pass a gourmet shanty town comprising trailers serving Vietnamese spring rolls, borscht and other international delicacies instead of hot dogs.

..you get your friend Missy to pose next to a sign with a silly pun.
..the street signs are printed on only one side and you have to drive a mile to make a U-turn when you miss your exit.

..Adidas' security guard mistakingly writes down your company name as Orkin.

..you have lunch at a restaurant decorated with gothic velvet-flocked wallpaper.

..the wallpaper matches a cheesy velvet painting of a woman breastfeeding her baby.

..you are given an intimidating Bowie knife to cut a Dungeness crab cake sandwich.

..you are treated to cookies served on a doilie after lunch.

..your hotel hangs a portrait of a goofy Ansel Adams in the hallway.

..your hotel also offers a pillow menu consisting of soft, medium, firm, extra firm, neck, body and reading pillows but you crash on whatever is on your bed because you are exhausted.
..you see a canoe strapped to the top of a truck.

..you kill three hours at a wine bar sipping pinot noir from the local Dobbes winery and surfing the 'Net on free WiFi because your flight was delayed due to a wind storm that generated gusts clocking up to 80 miles per hour.
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